I've never understood why people like clubbing. What is so appealing about going to a place filled to the brim with other assholes just so you can buy overpriced drinks and listen to shitty music raping your ears?

I've never been to nightclub but from what I've seen/heard, it's really kind of a shit hole. It looks sort of a like a really small, dark room, with crazy lights of a thousand different colours flickering around, and everything is blue (or red). There is a huge mass of people dancing, although I wouldn't call that dancing. Its really more like they're shaking their heads and jumping on the spot and jerking their bodies like their having a fit. Oh of course, everyone is piss drunk and sweaty all over. There's a lot of noise, mostly dance tracks that sound like someone playing with laser guns (pew pew pew). There's no decent conversations to be had at a nightclub because nobody can hear anything except for pewpewpew and boomboomboom, they can't even hear themselves think.

Yup, everything's blue.

Guys probably go to nightclubs to gawk at girls (not women), although there really isn't a point because the lighting sucks so bad they can't really tell who looks good and who looks like a bucket of shit. The dance floor is basically a human meat market, except the meat's for free. Maybe that's why guys like it so much.

Girls go to a nightclub because... I have no idea why. Maybe because they like getting touched all over by strangers? Because they're there to attract attention by hot-blooded fuckwits looking for easy pussy?

Then there are those that go there to drink, and subsequently get drunk. They dress up nicely and leave home for the night with the sole purpose of getting so drunk they start acting like spastics and then feel like they got ass raped by an elephant the next day. Isn't that nice?

Some say they go to clubs so they can meet people. Why would anyone go to a place where shit is so loud they can't even hear themselves talk, so they can meet people? So what if you actually meet someone you're interested in? You have to shout yourself hoarse just so you can introduce yourself, but it doesn't really matter because the other person can't hear you anyway. Maybe it's because intellectual conversation doesn't matter in a nightclub. Nothing but diarrhoea comes out of your mouth, but it doesn't matter if you look hot. Actually I think it's easy to look hot in places where people can't really see you.
I would much rather go to a bar, like this one below

Comfortable, nice atmosphere, no shitty music, no shitty lights, no shitty dancefloor. A place where people can actually see and talk to each other and have real conversations over a pint of beer. Preferably not too many people, because I hate people.

Seriously, if anyone ever asks me to go clubbing with them, I'd much rather walk around the streets killing people with a sledgehammer and fucking their corpses. Or stay at home with a nice book.